Wise Words Wednesday: Full Honesty

When my husband comes home today I am going to be very careful to tell him

“I made banana bread today”, not “I made a loaf of banana bread today”.

I know there is only one loaf on the counter, so the second sentence seems accurate, but in fact I made 4 loaves.

One just plain disappeared, ¾ of it into my belly, and the big kids spilt the rest. The other two loaves are still baking but they will be tucked into the freezer; one for a gift, and one so I don’t scarf it down like I did the first loaf.

Of course I’m kidding here; I won’t actually lie to my husband about how many loaves of banana bread there were. He wouldn’t believe me even if I tried.  He has been watching me devour warm bread straight out of the oven for over a decade.

Bless his heart for not complaining {too much} about it.

 

One of the ways we’ve managed to keep our relationship strong is by being in the habit of using FULL HONESTY.

Full Honesty basically means telling the whole truth and not leaving anything out.  We’ve learned that when we’re communicating with each other we will be the most effective as a couple if we share everything we’re thinking.  This means even sharing the embarrassing parts, or the parts that are particularly tough to say.

 

At first this was really difficult for my husband, because he was in a previous relationship where everything he said was turned against him. Understandably, he guarded himself a little too much.  It took a long time to break him free from that, but man is he ever free now!

He is a master at problem solving. He’s compassionate and driven to work towards a solution in any situation.

I’m a talker, and a persuader. I used to sweet-talk and persuade my husband into a decision, only to discover later that it wasn’t really what I wanted at all.  I hadn’t used full honesty; I only shared the highlights.

Like when we bought a massive elliptical from a popular sporting goods store. I only told him how excited I was to have it and about the health benefits. What husband could say no to the idea of a wife working towards having a firm butt!

I didn’t share that I was concerned about how much space it would take up, or that it would have to go in the basement that didn’t have a TV let alone painted walls at the time.

I was too excited that I finally convinced him to buy it, that I didn’t want to share my worries.

The whole 4 years we owned that silly elliptical we argued about it.

The day we hauled it out of the basement and sold it we were both smiling ear to ear.

If I had just been honest in the first place we could’ve shopped around to find one that wasn’t as bulky, and we could’ve waited until our basement remodel was finished, not right in the beginning stages.

See, full honesty is important, even in the small stuff.

Of course we’ve had much bigger issues to deal with in our time together. I can say that the ones we’ve handled with full honesty have been the ones we’ve gotten through the quickest, and helped us to grow the most.

Be Kind. Be Honest.  Show Love.

 

Here are some verses that may inspire you to use FULL HONESTY and to show love the way you’d like it shown to you.

 

Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who act faithfully are his delight.

Proverbs 12:22

For we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord’s sight but also in the sight of man

2 Corinthians 8:21

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Matthew 7:12

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you

Ephesians 4:32

 

Oh and speaking of full honesty, the platter in the picture was from a set of dishes that belonged to my grandparents. I had the whole set in my basement for years after I got married.  I loved the girly design, but didn’t want/need/use the whole set.  I felt guilty storing it and not using it, but didn’t want to hurt any feelings by giving it back to my parents.  I would occasionally use a piece, and then put it back in the basement.  Finally I told my dad the truth about how I didn’t want it, but I liked the platter.  Guess what he said? Put it on a garage sale! ha!  All those years I worried and stressed over the dishes and HE didn’t even care.  The truth sets you free, folks!