Pass the Bread

I’ve been seeing this Facebook post shared all day and I *want* to be inspired because it’s a great thought that I’ve preached it myself many times.

Give your best, it changes everything. At the very least, it changes your own heart.

You know I’m a marriage blogger and I appreciate real life analogies that are easy to understand…

First, let me say there is absolutely nothing wrong with this Facebook post.

It’s me. I’m tired. Okay?

Here’s the deal:
1) I gave away my toaster this year. – Totally irrelevant, but sort of ironic to me.

2) I’ve been in a relationship for 15 years (don’t let that sentence age me, I’m still crazy young at just 33-HA) and for nearly all of that time I’ve followed this practice of giving the best (aside from the great TV debate w/ Mr. Awesome, I’m probably taking that one to the grave). 😂 Sorry, babe!

Friends, I’m a giver at heart. At my healthiest I’m generous and don’t even give it a second thought or consider it a sacrifice to give the bigger portion and the best of everything to anyone, especially to my husband. It brings me deep joy, but it isn’t the secret to our marriage or any relationship I have.

Gratitude is.

You guys, no matter what, as much as I give and try to seek joy, at my worst, when I am in an unhealthy state, I’m left feeling let down in my marriage.

Hold up, don’t go digging into concrete here.

This is no real fault of my husband in the grand scheme of things; he’s still very much the man I married.

I dwell on how often feel like I get the short end of the stick, and how much I’d appreciate receiving even half as much as I give.

I’d probably say something like “Make your own dang toast, dude, I’m tried of you just complaining about how you’d like it a different way!”

Side note: I can become extremely defensive from constructive criticism.

Reading this person’s thoughts just reminded me how important it is that my joy in giving comes from the Lord.

It’s not my good works, it’s not how my husband makes me feel when he’s grateful or ungrateful with me…

I can’t hold Mr. Awesome or anyone else accountable for my joy, or the success of my marriage.

That’s on me. So yeah, I I know I should keep giving the best, and I will.

But if I’m tired and I just cannot, well then…

Jesus. Give me Jesus.

And if you’re tired, rest in the Lord, and return ready to serve.

He sees you.

Oh, and please pass the bread, would ya? I don’t need it toasted.

PS. This week I dug out my middle school diary and read about my desire to be loved. Apparently that is something I have always been searching for. I may share some entries, but I’ll tell you this, my 12-14 year old self needed some serious guidance and a bar of soap in my mouth. Yikes!