Ugh, I sure have!
Last fall I walked by our sliding door that looks out into the backyard. I knew my husband was weeding the garden and my son was playing with his friends.
As I scanned the yard I saw the boys wrestling and pulling things out of each other’s hands, aggressively I assumed. Mr. Awesome was faced their direction knelt down pulling weeds, so I knew he saw them.
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My mind quickly judged the whole thing.
Mr. Awesome should be breaking this up, I’m sure he doesn’t even notice what’s going on. Um, way to go, dad.of.the.year.
Ladies, one of the traits I love the most about my husband is how he always stays so calm and doesn’t take anything too seriously. I’ve got to be honest though, that trait also drives me the most crazy!
Why are these boys fighting anyway? Who started it? How hard will this be to break up? I am I going to be escorting someone home?
Of ALL the things to play with in the backyard and they’re fighting over tiny Legos that shouldn’t even be outside?
Without any real accurate assessment, I flung the door open and yelled out a quick “Knock it off, what are you boys doing? Why are you fighting like that?”
And then it hit me, seconds before my mouth had opened I heard they were… laughing.
My husband hadn’t corrected them because there was nothing to be corrected.
Now, the “mom” in me can say that horseplay behavior could’ve quickly turned into fighting and I could try to defend myself for stopping it, but it would be no use. They were fine.
I was just so stressed out over a deadline I was working on and other things on my mind that I didn’t even think of the people involved, only the situation. Obviously not even the real situation, just what I assumed of it.
Well, sometimes I think we look at things or people through a sort of glass. Not even a colored glass, mind you. We have long judged people by their Facebook profiles, but I think sometimes we even judge them by what we see them like when they’re right in front of our eyes.
As authentic as I try to be, I know I may put on a better or worse appearance based on the day and what my current circumstances look like.
I used to worry if I headed to the grocery store in sloppy clothes, or added junk food to my cart, that people would judge me. I worried if I spoke too firmly to my kids people would think I lacked parenting skills and patience. I used to worry if my husband took an unhealthy lunch that his co-workers would judge what kind of wife I was.
Man, all that worrying was exhausting! Really.
Then 4 years ago I got pregnant and terribly sick, and my husband started packing his lunches, the rest I mostly came to grips with too.
I’ve learned to SLOW down, and to assess. I’ve learned to cut out some of the busyness that makes it so I can’t spend more time assessing and responding, and less time judging and reacting, like I did that day I saw the boys playing in the backyard.
I’ve learned that if I want grace shown to me, I have to show it too.
I stopped looking at compassion as a noun and started thinking of it as a verb.
It’s my hope that you too are able to SLOW down, cut the busyness and start enjoying life to the fullest extent that it was meant to be enjoyed to.
If you’re local I’d love to invite you to join me in a weekly book study this fall.
If you aren’t local but are still interested in doing this as a small group, I would consider doing a study either in a Facebook group, or breaking the chapters down with you on Periscope.
Of course you can also read the book on your own, but isn’t it better when we do life together?
Be blessed, my dear friends.