Friends, I’m praying that if you’re feeling like your relationship is falling apart, as I honestly sometimes do too, you would take comfort in the lyrics of the song “Broken Together”.
Go ahead; listen to this while you read.
Please know that Jesus’ hands are not just for comfort, but also for our healing. Radical healing can happen in your marriage just as it has in mine.
Sadly, the brokenness and healing isn’t usually a one-time deal, the struggles that you face are just par for the course. If this is the first you’ve heard of this, I’m sorry. Marriage is a very good gift from God, and Satan wants to destroy that.
You’ll keep facing trials, over and over. Brace yourself and handle them with prayer.
Maybe you feel like your marriage has just been one big long trail all along. I don’t care if it’s been a decade and you’re tired of fighting for the type of marriage you’ve always wanted, I want you to keep fighting for what you believe in.
I believe God wants you and me both to know that it’s worth it. Even when it seems like it isn’t. He keeps whispering to me that It is.
During a particularly rough patch in our marriage, a male friend of ours told me late one night that he was planning to call off his wedding (that was to be happening the next day), to pursue ME! I was initially flattered, but also angry and terrified that Satan had led our friendship to this place because I didn’t see it coming. In hindsight, I didn’t play it safe, and should’ve guarded our relationship. I thought we were untouchable, but quickly learned we weren’t. I’ll share on that another time.
Sometime throughout that late-night conversation I muttered that marriage with my husband wasn’t at all what I thought it would be like, but I believed that it could turn around and be good yet. He told me that even some arranged marriages, where neither of the parties wanted to be involved, somehow found love in the middle and stayed together 50+ years. I think he was trying to hint that even if he wasn’t my dream guy, we could somehow make it work. At the time I took it as even my broken marriage could be healed, and we could someday hit 50 years.
I woke up my husband and told him what had happened. He responded with the same anger and hurt that I felt, but then compassion and gentleness. We awkwardly attended the wedding the next day (should’ve skipped it), quickly dissolved that friendship, and started working on our healing. 7ish years later and I can tell you honesty is what pulled us through.
A story from my childhood that people are always impressed with is the story that my parents separated for a year when I was in 6th grade. by God’s grace they made their way back to each other and have been married now for 41 years! Isn’t that so cool? It’s never too late.
On the days when you don’t feel like your spouse is worth fighting for, could you just trust that Jesus is? If you’re still in the honeymoon phase I know that must sound a little heartless, but when you’ve been married long enough to go through the tough waves, you’ll understand exactly what I mean. My marriage has some days been held together only by the promise I made to God, not the one I made to my husband. It’s sad, but true. I know I’m not alone here.
Please pray your way through whatever destruction is creeping in. Seek wise help when you need it.
Do not be ashamed, and for the love of everything related to how much money a divorce would cost (kidding!), do not give up.
I fully believe that if God led you to each other, he’ll lead you through life with each other.
For just a minute, think about your best friend growing up. How often did you fight? When I was really young I know my bestie and I fought on the daily. We’d stand as close to our property lines without going over and yell the rudest things to each other. Hours later we’d be playing in her sandbox or picking clovers together. We figured it out and got through it.
My relationships with friends changed little over the years, still had the fights, still had the making up.
If your husband is your best friend, you can bet you’ll have silly arguments just like you probably did with your friends. What matters is how you handle them.
Remembering these word help me to ‘fight’ a little more fair and show a little more love: Respect, Kindness, Reputation, Honesty, and Compassion.
Also, I have learned the art of responding and not reacting. I don’t always practice it, but when I do, there is so much more peace and harmony in our conversations.
Be blessed my sweet friends! If you are a wife, you are a warrior. You are strong, and you are able. You can and you will FIGHT for your marriage, because you are under the direction of the King!