

Years ago my husband and I heard about a Bible study being offered through our church based on the movie Fireproof. As a woman who had a fierce childhood crush on Kirk Cameron, star of growing pains, I signed us right up.
We were young, I think we’d been married less than two years. We had two small children and a mortgage as big as our eyeballs. A year prior I abruptly left a job I loved and a college full of adventures and friends to focus on growing our little family. We had just joined the church and I was anxious to meet new people in this new town.
When we gathered at the church for the information night we talked about logistics of when, where, and how often to meet. We formed a group and decided to take turns hosting in our homes.
You guys, we had a nice enough home that was filled with love, BUT IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THE OTHER HOMES.
I’m not exaggerating {much} here.
The other two homes we met in were literally just about the nicest homes I had ever stepped foot in.
When it was our turn to host we spent hours upon hours cleaning. As if mopping the floor a third time would add 1500 square feet to our floor plan or make our counters appear to be made of anything other than laminate. Ha!
My husband and I might have been more productive if we hadn’t spent so much time arguing over which way to display the bathmat in the main bathroom. Draped over the tub? If so, centered with the tub, or near the end? Or do we leave it on the floor?
If only I’d grabbed that damn thing and tossed it in the cupboard, or better yet, it was pretty ratty I could’ve just put it in the trash. It wasn’t worth the tears, and yes, I cried real tears over how to display a bathmat.
Live and learn, right?
When the other couples arrived at our door we started the evening by giving them a tour of our home. To my surprise, they didn’t have anything negative to say (as you shouldn’t when you’re in someone else’s home). When you’re young and comparing yourself to everyone around you, you can’t help but think of everything you’re doing wrong and what you DON’T have, rather than what you DO.
When I admitted the stress I was under with hosting because their homes were much nicer, one person spoke up and said “Quincey, we’ve lived in all kinds of places. Our first home wasn’t anything like the home we’re in now.”
There was something comforting in that, but I also wondered what if this was the only place we’d ever live?
Well, over the years we’ve now hosted (no exaggeration) hundreds of people in our home and backyard.
We’ve changed the flooring, lightened the paint a single shade, replaced the basement stairs and some worn-out furniture, but not much has really changed in the way of construction. We’re still serving off the same countertops and gathering around the same table my in-laws handed down to us when we moved here.
What truly changed was my understanding of hospitality.
When you shift hospitality from being a condition of your home to a condition of your heart, there’s so much more joy in hosting.
Don’t get me wrong, I still clean plenty for company, but I’m definitely not mopping more than once, and I don’t even put down a bathmat, now that I’ve found a random towel works just fine and washes up easier.
I know we’re currently in a season of social distancing, due to COVID-19, but when we move past this (and we will), I hope you’ll never hesitate to open your home to friends and family, no matter what state it is in.
Use this time to prepare your hearts for healing, and pray for our nation that we may be a people who love fiercely and forgive (others and ourselves) easily.
1 Peter 4:9 says:
Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.
I encourage you to read all of 1 Peter chapter 4, on the topics of changed lives, being good managers of God’s gifts, and suffering as a follower of Christ.
Beautiful post! I am doing a year-long Bible study on Daily Acts of Kindness and it has made me look at how to open my heart to others.