Being a homeowner can have its challenges. Something always needs cleaned, repaired, or put away. Now, in theory, being a married homeowner means you aren’t expected to carry all the weight alone, right? So if the burdens can be split in half, managing a home shouldn’t seem so hard at all right?
But you know what IS hard… When you put something on your husband’s to-do list because you don’t want to do it, and then you have to WAIT AND WAIT AND WAIT for him to do it.
I’m just being real here, folks.
Mr. Awesome definitely pulls his weight around here, and not just by bringing home a pay check that is 250 times the size of mine (although that is a big bonus I am very appreciate of). He built much of our home, garage, and outdoor wood structures with his bare hands. He takes the trash out every week, he cooks often, he reads and plays with the kids, and he has cleaned the cat litter box almost exclusively for 10 years (I’ve probably done it less than 5 times, ever).
Let’s just take a moment to reflect that… Do you know any guys who clean a cat litter box? Because other than my hubby, I sure don’t. Alright, now please don’t take his Man Card for this.
Sometimes though, I get SO FRUSTRATED at how the things I ask him to do end up getting left on the list, and not done when *I* think they should be.
Now I’m not being totally unrealistic, let me explain a minute. One chore I often give to him is cleaning the toilets before company comes. I claim I’m not good at it, but really I just don’t like doing it. Sorry, honey!
So you know what happens? The company comes and goes and the toilets don’t get cleaned! Or I do a quick crappy job as everyone shows up because I’m embarrassed by the water ring in the toilet.
This has been an on-going debate between us, and I’m ready to settle it!
I realized while I was praying this morning that my husband focuses his energy on the people. He is not a planner. He gets his energy from the people alone, not from preparing for them to arrive. I focus my energy on preparing the house. Checking tasks off my list gives me a high that carries me through our parties. I love seeing the people too, but preparing the home is a big deal to me. Not that it needs to be perfect every time, but I do enjoy the rush of emergency cleaning 10 minutes before the doorbell rings.
We’re wired differently, and that’s okay.
Okay, now that we know that. I have decided to share this TOP SECRET NO-FAIL WIFE TIP with each of you. I don’t want you to keep this to yourself. This is a big deal, and I think if we as wives start doing this simple thing, our marriages will be changed.
Here it is…
If there’s something you put on your husband’s to-do list that you know you are fully capable of- DO IT!
My dad has been a maintenance man my whole life. I’ve tagged along from job to job watching him and learning from him just by being present. I’ve seen the way his hands manipulate things to make them work. I’ve observed what tools do what job, and had plenty of hands on experience being his sidekick. I’ve learned enough about home maintenance that I don’t NEED to rely on my husband for most jobs.
I can do the easy things, and I can even do some of the hard things too.
I don’t always want to, but if I’m being honest, I surely can.
My husband and I are secure enough in our marriage that he isn’t going to feel ‘less than’ if I fix something that should’ve been a “guy job”. If you’re still in the early stages of your marriage, this may take time. Be patient.
So today, I got out a screw driver and tightened up loose screws on the doorknobs and strike plates. I was especially sure to tighten the one that has been catching and causing us to grumble each time we use it.
I could’ve asked my husband to do it and waited for it to get done, but I didn’t.
It was a 10 second fix, no joke!
I did it, and now when he comes home he can focus more of his energy on the little people.
What is something you are waiting for your husband to do, that you know darn well you can do yourself? DO IT!
Leave a Reply