The Transition

It’s “Redecorating Days” in our town.   I think the official term the city uses is City-Wide Garbage Pick Up or something fancy like that.  As a teenager my dad teased me one day saying it was time to drive around and do some “furniture shopping” on people’s curbs. Ever since, the saying “Redecorating Days” stuck.

Yesterday I began hauling unwanted things to our curb. An old hammock, some flooring we decided not to install, our baby crib, odds and ends from the garage..

WAIT a second…

HOLD UP!

Did I really just say our BABY CRIB?

Yes, yes, I did.

If you are new here and didn’t know I am not a sentimental person, you probably just figured that out real fast on your own. I mean a person who puts a crib on the curb without even shedding a tear? That person isn’t sentimental.  I prefer to say I’m not emotionally attached to material items, because that makes me feel less heartless.

In all honesty I did have few sniffs and watery eyes, but no real tears fell.

This is the crib that each of our three babies and countless friends’ kids have slept in for the past 13 years. This crib has been a safe haven for many little ones, and a quiet place of rest.

This crib has been set up with excitement 3+ times and in two different homes; this crib has been taken down with tears time and time again.

But this crib is really just a plain Jenny Lind wooden crib.

I told myself when I took it down a few months ago: this doesn’t mean we won’t have more children, even though I often wonder if we will get that chance again. It’s all according to God’s plan, right? I have to be okay with that, I’m not yet, but I am working towards it. 

After I put the crib on the curb and walked back into the garage I took a deep breath, let it out, and marched right back to the garbage pile and picked up a piece. In my hands I held the small narrow rail that takes the place of a full side when you’re ready to turn the crib into a toddler bed.

It’s a transition piece.

The first few nights after your child goes from a crib to a toddler bed, you worry. You check on them in the night, you coach them and let them know it’s going to be okay, and that they’re a big girl or boy now.   You’re nervous, but can’t help but be excited as they ask you things like “Am I big now?”

After a week in the toddler bed you don’t even look back. It’s a new phase.  You find your groove and so does your child.  New skills develop!

The crib is still the crib, but it’s adjusted to what it needs to be, letting a piece go, and adding in a new one (the transition). You rename it, the toddler bed, even though it’s essentially the same piece of furniture it has always been.

I’m in that transition right now. I received my Certification in Social Media Marketing, and around the same time I let a handful of clients/accounts go.  People were and probably still are, disappointed in me for making this change.  I felt like I was letting people down.

Maybe I really was/am, but I’m also following my passions and where I feel is God’s calling me. I’m doing it cautiously and slowly, but I’m doing it.

God told me 2 years ago to let some of these things go, and I didn’t want to listen. I flat out refused.

I would cry out “This is MY THING God, why can’t you understand that?”

I would say to myself “who else will do it if I don’t?” By not stepping down though, I wasn’t giving anyone else a chance to show that they could handle it.

After I had enough and dropped it all, it turned out other people stepped up and took over what I had so tightly been gripping. Some of them have done truly amazing work and I’m inspired by them and proud of them.  Others have dropped the ball, and I’ve had to sit back and say ‘it’s okay’ and mean it.

The transition would’ve been easier had I made it when I felt God first calling me to do it, and not after I was having a mental break down and couldn’t handle one more thing on my plate. You know you’ve hit that point when you get in the shower each night and just cry for no real reason.  I was bogged down and burdened and no one was to blame except my stubborn self.

Transition is such a scary place.  After a while though, you get your groove, find your new normal, and never look back.

Right now it doesn’t make sense why I’ve left behind the things I’ve built up from scratch and was once so passionate about, but I trust that God will reveal the ‘why’ to me someday. I also know that through the struggle I’ll find my strength and come out in a better place than before.  I’m already feeling a sense of freedom and true passion with what I’m doing now.

Transition is vital for growth.

 

Oh and sentimental people, you can REJOICE! I kept the transition piece from the crib as a sign of movement, a sign of that next step in my life.  It may end up in a burn pile someday (that’s just my personality), but for now it helped me get through this transition of letting the crib go and accepting this next phase of life.