A Slightly Better Wife

Marriage.Homeschool.Motherhood

  • Marriage
  • Homeschool
    • Homeschool Resources
    • Homeschool
    • Disclosure
  • Motherhood + Homemaking
  • Recipes
  • Shop
    • Affiliate Shop
  • Cart

The Benefits of Being Strong-Willed (Part 2)

This post contains affiliate links. A Slightly Better Wife (Quincey B.) is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com.

In my last post on being strong-willed I briefly talked about the conference I went to and what it meant to be strong willed.   I want to assure any of you strong willed women who are reading this that your personality type, when used correctly, is a gift from God.
This is NOT a character flaw, okay?  Just repeat that a few times before you move on.
I know not all my readers are married or even moms, or have a life even remotely similar to mine, so if you can’t relate to these examples try to brainstorm ways that your strong-willed personality has been a blessing to you.
Here are a few of my experiences:
I’ll start with when I was a teen working at a pizza place.  I had two different grown men who on separate occasions would come in and try to be overly friendly- but honestly downright inappropriate with me.  Another trusted adult said these guys were harmless; ignore it, they’d been coming in for years.  They said I was overreacting; they weren’t interested in me, just off kilter.  Okay, whatever.
I believed that for a moment, even after I had a bible and blanket thrown at my feet as a sign of this 50-something’s love for me (this really made me afraid of and confused by Christianity.  People, it’s true that sometimes YOU are the
only Jesus people may see.  Choose your words and actions wisely).  This one guy constantly came behind the counter and knelt at my feet to worship me and pray ‘with me’.  Practically every Saturday morning I’d get a visit from one of these two guys.
I called the cops so many times that summer.  I’m very thankful they always took me seriously and came to my rescue to scare him off.  After a few months though, I had enough.  I chose NOT to be passive and instead stood up for myself against these clearly mentally unstable people.  One of the men was later hauled off by the cops when he showed up at my work place one evening and threatened someone with a spear.  You read that right, a spear!  I thank God that no one was harmed.
I KNOW that being strong-willed probably saved my life that summer.
Back track a few years, I think I was in middle school.  I had an innocent crush on a kid who was in the same grade as one of my older brothers.  The kid knew this (because I called him all.the.time), and was a jerk to me in front of everyone else (I was 4 years younger.  That’s a big deal when you’re a boy in high school and a middle school girl likes you.  I get that now).  I cried big crocodile tears because he said he didn’t like me.  Once he had me alone he apologized and dropped his pants asking me to do things that I was NOT okay with doing.  I was like 12! Prior to this I didn’t even want to kiss him, but would’ve been over the moon with just holding hands.
My strong-willed personality allowed me to give him a firm NO, a shove, and a threat that made him never EVER try anything like that again.  He still won’t make eye contact with me, and that was 16 years ago!
In my late teens early 20’s my strong-willed personality helped me be a good leader in the work place.  It led our team to higher efficiency.
The combination of me and our pediatrician both being strong willed, led to testing that determined our youngest daughter’s heart condition.
Being strong willed as a wife has led me to fight for my husband’s happiness and health.  It allowed me to stand by his side during a custody battle and not get weary or back down.  It allowed me to get him the medical care he needed when we found a lump on the back of his head.  Having an advocate is important.
The control of my strong-willed personality is what earned me the place standing over the operating table guiding the doctor as my husband had that lump removed for the second time, because it grew back.
You see the first time I wasn’t motivating the doctor to do it right, I was PUSHING the doctor and telling him how to do his job. 
Now a part of me wants to point out that if this doctor would’ve listened to me, we wouldn’t have been back in for a second surgery.  As far as I know that’s all true and everything, but I wasn’t using my “strong-willedness” for good, I was using it to be right.
I need to tell you that being submissive, and honoring God by controlling your gift of being strong-willed DOES NOT MEAN that you need to endure any sort of abuse.
It simply means (I’m quoting this from the conference because I don’t want to summarize it and have it come across wrong):
“Submission is an attitude of the heart that says we want to show our love for Christ through the way we voluntarily place the goal of oneness within the marriage before our own selfish desires.” –Dr. Debbie Cherry
 If you have read this and decided that you too are strong-willed, here’s what you can do:
For one, pray that God would show you how to use your personality for his glory.
Notice I’m not saying pray for God to change your spouse/kids so you don’t have to repeat yourself over and over.
Pray that YOU are changed.
Don’t freak out over every little thing, set some realistic expectations.
Stop making excuses like this:  “My mom raised me this way, so that’s why I yell and nag”.  “If you listened the
first time I wouldn’t be yelling now”.
Begin to delegate out some of your duties.  You KNOW they won’t be done exactly to your liking, but just suck it up and say thank you anyway.  Praise is more effective than criticism. 
Focus your heart and mind on the happiness and needs of others, not yourself.
And just for fun- STOP rearranging the food at every gathering you go to.  If someone wants a scotcheroo bar they’ll find it, even if it isn’t placed next to all the other desserts and in alphabetical order!  haha.  kidding.  kind of.

If you are interested in checking out the book Dr. Debbie Cherry wrote
on this topic click the Amazon affiliate link below:

Share this:

  • Tweet
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on Telegram (Opens in new window) Telegram
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Filed Under: All The Posts, Encouragement, Marriage Tagged With: Amazon Love, Encouragement, Marriage

« You Think I’m Strong-Willed? Whatever THAT Means!
Amazon Deal: Buy 2, Get 1 Free on Board Games or Puzzles »

Comments

  1. Mom says

    January 3, 2020 at 4:28 pm

    You were strong willed when you entered this world as a child, and I am so proud of you for finally learning how to use it as the gift that it is. You have used it time and again and it has worked, and if you use it correctly, and only for good… it will always be your superpower.

    Reply

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

Join the Newsletter

* indicates required

Welcome! Click the pic for “About Me”:

Categories

  • All The Posts (634)
  • Celebrate Absolutely Everything (51)
  • Encouragement (98)
  • Gift Guides (12)
  • Health and Wellness (18)
  • Homemaking (69)
  • Homeschool (36)
  • Local (4)
  • Marriage (42)
  • Outdoor (1)
  • Parenting (61)
  • Recipes (48)
  • Thanks (22)

Hey Friend! I am truly so glad that you’re here today!

At A Slightly Better Wife, I share about faith, homemaking, homeschooling, and marriage—along with my passion for creating a non-toxic, intentional home. Life isn’t about perfection, but I believe in making small, meaningful choices each day to do things slightly better than before.

My love for simple living and homemaking was deeply shaped by my grandparents. I have the best childhood memories of being in the kitchen with my Grandma Edna, learning the beauty of home-cooked meals and a well-tended home. My Grandpa Link’s storytelling and wisdom instilled in me the value of faith, family, and slowing down to listen during the little moments that make life rich. Their influence is woven into who I am today and I’m so grateful for that.

I’m a wife, a momma of 5, and a homemaker at heart. My husband and I met young, just days after my 18th birthday, and we quickly (like within a week) knew that forever was in our plans.

Together, we built our home on the edge of town, where we’re raising and homeschooling our children while embracing a simple, purposeful life in the city.

Here, you’ll find encouragement for your marriage, practical tips for homemaking, and inspiration to cultivate a home filled with faith and love. Whether you’re looking for a recipe, a fresh perspective, or just a place to feel understood, I hope you’ll stay awhile and explore.

Let’s pursue slightly better together!

📩 Interested in working together? Email me at aslightlybetterwife@gmail.com

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnIayrdhki8

Organizing Leggings

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VzEDoMr-woU

Homeschool Organization

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJcjLOOrTzI

Ikea Kallax

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UupYIsao3Wk

Coil Binding Gather Round Homeschool Curriculum

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HZYS0gYCA1Y

Gluten Free Lunch On The Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtPFmGmJWwM

Homeschool Workboxes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETDQ4-HhK28

Archives

Copyright

Feel free to share links from A Slightly Better Wife, as long as they are used in a positive manner and proper credit is given. I kindly ask that a link back to this site is included in your post. Please note that all content is owned by Quincey B. and cannot be republished elsewhere. Pinning on Pinterest is always welcomed and encouraged!

A Slightly Better Wife · © 2015 · Blogger to Wordpress Transfer by: Fantastique Designs ·

%d