The Benefits of Being Strong-Willed (Part 2)

In my last post on being strong-willed I briefly talked about the conference I went to and what it meant to be strong willed.   I want to assure any of you strong willed women who are reading this that your personality type, when used correctly, is a gift from God.

This is NOT a character flaw, okay?  Just repeat that a few times before you move on.

I know not all my readers are married or even moms, or have a life even remotely similar to mine, so if you can’t relate to these examples try to brainstorm ways that your strong-willed personality has been a blessing to you.

I’ll start with when I was a teen working at a pizza place.  I had two different grown men who on separate occasions would come in and try to be overly friendly- but honestly downright inappropriate with me.  Another trusted adult said these guys were harmless; ignore it, they’d been coming in for years.  They said I was overreacting; they weren’t interested in me, just off kilter.  Okay, whatever.

I believed that for a moment, even after I had a bible and blanket thrown at my feet as a sign of this 50-something’s love for me (this really made me afraid of and confused by Christianity.  People, it’s true that sometimes YOU are the
only Jesus people may see.  Choose your words and actions wisely).  This one guy constantly came behind the counter and knelt at my feet to worship me and pray ‘with me’.  Practically every Saturday morning I’d get a visit from one of these two guys.

I called the cops so many times that summer.  I’m very thankful they always took me seriously and came to my rescue to scare him off.  After a few months though, I had enough.  I chose NOT to be passive and instead stood up for myself against these clearly mentally unstable people.  One of the men was later hauled off by the cops when he showed up at my work place one evening and threatened someone with a spear.  You read that right, a spear!  I thank God that no one was harmed.
I KNOW that being strong-willed probably saved my life that summer.

Back track a few years, I think I was in middle school.  I had an innocent crush on a kid who was in the same grade as one of my older brothers.  The kid knew this (because I called him all.the.time), and was a jerk to me in front of everyone else (I was 4 years younger.  That’s a big deal when you’re a boy in high school and a middle school girl likes you.  I get that now).  I cried big crocodile tears because he said he didn’t like me.  Once he had me alone he apologized and dropped his pants asking me to do things that I was NOT okay with doing.  I was like 12! Prior to this I didn’t even want to kiss him, but would’ve been over the moon with just holding hands.

My strong-willed personality allowed me to give him a firm NO, a shove, and a threat that made him never EVER try anything like that again.  He still won’t make eye contact with me, and that was 16 years ago!

In my late teens early 20’s my strong-willed personality helped me be a good leader in the work place.  It led our team to higher efficiency.

The combination of me and our pediatrician both being strong willed, led to testing that determined our youngest daughter’s heart condition.

Being strong willed as a wife has led me to fight for my husband’s happiness and health.  It allowed me to stand by his side during a custody battle and not get weary or back down.  It allowed me to get him the medical care he needed when we found a lump on the back of his head.  Having an advocate is important.

The control of my strong-willed personality is what earned me the place standing over the operating table guiding the doctor as my husband had that lump removed for the second time, because it grew back.

You see the first time I wasn’t motivating the doctor to do it right, I was PUSHING the doctor and telling him how to do his job. 

Now a part of me wants to point out that if this doctor would’ve listened to me, we wouldn’t have been back in for a second surgery.  As far as I know that’s all true and everything, but I wasn’t using my “strong-willedness” for good, I was using it to be right.

I need to tell you that being submissive, and honoring God by controlling your gift of being strong-willed DOES NOT MEAN that you need to endure any sort of abuse.

It simply means (I’m quoting this from the conference because I don’t want to summarize it and have it come across wrong):

 If you have read this and decided that you too are strong-willed, here’s what you can do:

For one, pray that God would show you how to use your personality for his glory.
Notice I’m not saying pray for God to change your spouse/kids so you don’t have to repeat yourself over and over.
Pray that YOU are changed.

Don’t freak out over every little thing, set some realistic expectations.

Stop making excuses like this:  “My mom raised me this way, so that’s why I yell and nag”.  “If you listened the
first time I wouldn’t be yelling now”.

Begin to delegate out some of your duties.  You KNOW they won’t be done exactly to your liking, but just suck it up and say thank you anyway.  Praise is more effective than criticism. 

Focus your heart and mind on the happiness and needs of others, not yourself.

And just for fun- STOP rearranging the food at every gathering you go to.  If someone wants a scotcheroo bar they’ll find it, even if it isn’t placed next to all the other desserts and in alphabetical order!  haha.  kidding.  kind of.