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Married Life: When It Gets Messy and Hard

If I’m being honest, ‘married life’ is messy and hard.  Life with real friends can also be this way.  The people who speak the truth in love can offend us (or down right tick us off) easily, without even trying.

Often times they’re just trying to help, except it doesn’t feel like help, it feels like an attack.  I’m not experiencing this right now, but sometimes I do, & I think you guys do too.
I just wanted to put that out there for anyone feeling like marriage and friendship should be this beautiful perfect thing that it’s portrayed to be on social media by me, or anyone else.
In 10 years of marriage I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve wanted to walk out. It’s embarrassing and makes me feel ashamed at how easily I’ve wanted to give up and chase some carefree fairy tale, rather than work it out.

I can totally justify it however I want, and I have friends who would say I’m right to leave.  Be my own person.  But then I have the friends who speak the truth in love, who identify MY faults, and help me learn to be more like Jesus,  more forgiving.  I can blame other people all day long, but it’s not cool at all, and it makes me a fool.  Ugh, that didn’t feel good to type… but ladies, it’s the truth.

Mr. Awesome and I have had our good days, months, and years, and I have realized that the work I put in to create harmony with my husband is worth it.  I get what I give, eventually.

I can’t do it without Jesus. I finally understand that. 

Is it easy? Occasionally.  Is staying committed to what I promised my husband and God worth it? Absolutely!
And on the really awful ugly days, when I wanted to give up and imagined I could handle everything on my own, because I did it all the time anyway (which wasn’t true, but I got myself to believe this sometimes), I remembered this is far more about my promise to God than anything else.

I can break a promise to man, and it feels bad for a bit, but to break my promise to God, that would hurt much too deep.
Friends, if you’re in a place where things are tough and your marriage feels unsteady, can we, Mr. Awesome and I, please offer to help you? Just to talk it out, or pray for you? Or maybe you’re open to a Bible study as a last ditch effort? Been there!  It would be a blessing to us, and hopefully to you also.  Let me know via PM, text, or email.  ❤
If you’re in a good season of life right now, I praise God for that!  Would you please pray for a couple you think could use a little extra care?  Chances are if they are on your mind, they need to also be in your prayers.

This is a 6 week Bible study, that only takes 30-40 minutes to do together.  Best of all, there is no homework, and it’s very do-able, even if you aren’t a person who typically would do a Bible study.  The verses needed for the discussion questions are already printed in the book, so this book along with your spouse is all you need to get started.  It’s less than $10 shipped on Amazon, and is a great place to jump in, no matter where you are in your marriage.  We’ve been through this once a few years ago just the two of us, on our own, and we’re ready to do it again.

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Hey Friend! I am truly so glad that you’re here today!

At A Slightly Better Wife, I share about faith, homemaking, homeschooling, and marriage—along with my passion for creating a non-toxic, intentional home. Life isn’t about perfection, but I believe in making small, meaningful choices each day to do things slightly better than before.

My love for simple living and homemaking was deeply shaped by my grandparents. I have the best childhood memories of being in the kitchen with my Grandma Edna, learning the beauty of home-cooked meals and a well-tended home. My Grandpa Link’s storytelling and wisdom instilled in me the value of faith, family, and slowing down to listen during the little moments that make life rich. Their influence is woven into who I am today and I’m so grateful for that.

I’m a wife, a momma of 5, and a homemaker at heart. My husband and I met young, just days after my 18th birthday, and we quickly (like within a week) knew that forever was in our plans.

Together, we built our home on the edge of town, where we’re raising and homeschooling our children while embracing a simple, purposeful life in the city.

Here, you’ll find encouragement for your marriage, practical tips for homemaking, and inspiration to cultivate a home filled with faith and love. Whether you’re looking for a recipe, a fresh perspective, or just a place to feel understood, I hope you’ll stay awhile and explore.

Let’s pursue slightly better together!

📩 Interested in working together? Email me at aslightlybetterwife@gmail.com

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