As I held the phone in my hand talking to the receptionist and looking at my calendar I held my breath and tried not to let my worry show through the phone lines when she gave me the next available appointment date.
My words said “Great, I’ll take it, thank you”, but my heart said, “Oh no! Why so long!”
We’ve shared with our family and many of our friends, now we want to share with all of you too. About 3 months ago I scheduled my youngest daughter’s routine appointment with her cardiologist. We can typically get in to see him within 2 weeks, but because of some unforeseen circumstances, their calendar was booked out quite a ways.
I hung up the phone and sat down and prayed. The baby was crying, the big kids wanted me, but I needed Jesus so badly in that moment that I just paused and prayed, or I would’ve been bawling too.
I cried out to God and told Him I was SO.WORRIED. I couldn’t imagine waiting 3 months to get in. Even though it was a routine appointment, I like to have the most up-to-date facts, and I wanted them right then. It’s so hard for me to give up control. I begged God to take away the worry since there wasn’t a thing I could do about the wait.
A couple weeks later we visited our favorite pumpkin patch and our kiddos got a bounce house all to themselves while there was a lull in visitors. Best day ever for any kid, right?! Well, you see, our sweet girl NEVER gets to go in bounce houses, because it’s hard for her to keep up with the other kids, and you know, all those stinkin’ germs. So it really was a dream come true for her to bounce alongside of her big brother and sister. She STILL talks about it, months later!
The bad part:
Later that evening and for the next several days she just sat, completely exhausted. She had bounced and bounced until she couldn’t bounce anymore, and now she was paying for it. She didn’t run and play, she didn’t get excited over anything, she was just so calm, but almost seemed limp and pale. She asked to be held and kept her hand near her chest feeling her heartbeat and asking me to feel it often too. It broke my heart.
As much as I want my kids to stand out for their greatnesses, I don’t want them to stand out for their weaknesses. I don’t want anything to slow them down or hinder them from reaching the desires of their hearts.
I knew we couldn’t get into her heart doctor, and even so, what would they be able to do? We prayed.
Fast forward to just last week… It’s late, I’m in bed nearly asleep and Mr. Awesome comes in and asks what time we need to leave for the cardiologist appointment the next day. “What? THAT’S TOMORROW?”
If you know me at all you know I am a planner. I should’ve had outfits laid out, snacks packed, and water bottles filled and activities to keep us busy while we waited. I have calendars and reminders everywhere, and I had somehow (through the grace of God) forgot all about this!
I am so grateful that the weight of the worry was removed so I could just enjoy the days and months leading up to the appointment, rather than looking for all the signs that something was wrong like I had done in the past.
At the doctor’s office what I expected to hear were the words we often hear and are grateful for: “No change, but we will see you in a year”. That’s been fairly typical since we graduated off of every 3-6 month appointments. It sure beats hearing that things are worse.
What we actually heard was something like this: “I am going to dismiss you as a patient, as far as I’m concerned, you are healed”.
What?! Seriously God? You did that? For our sweet girl? For us?
THAT was the new best.day.ever. And I think it may take quite a while for anything to top that.
What the doctor explained typically could heal itself around the age of 15, had healed at age 5! FIVE! I feel like 10 years of waiting and worrying were wiped clean!
Now it doesn’t mean her condition has totally disappeared, but it as not anywhere near a place that surgery would be considered a necessity, which we had thought at one point as we held her in his office when she was an infant.
She’s to go on and enjoy life. No problem, enjoying life is what this girl does!
Friends, I have said I’m giving things to God before, but I can be a bit of a control-freak and take it right back. This time, I gave it, I trusted Him, and I didn’t turn back.
What a gift it was to follow through, and to feel His blessings poured out on us.
We explained what all the doctor talk meant, and asked our girl how she wanted to celebrate, letting her know that ANYTHING was game. Her choice, MCDONALDS for the “expensive ice cream”. Oh, my heart! I love her to pieces!
By the way, McDonald’s online ordering through their mobile app is amazing. Even though we ate inside this time, picking out everyone’s choices from the privacy of our van using the app, is simple, and simply amazing! No more wishy-washy time spent at the drive-thru window or in front of the counter while others wait for our kids (or us) to make a perfect choice of a meal. Bonus: I’ve discovered menu items on the app that I hadn’t ever seen on the physical menu before.
You know we love to Celebrate Absolutely Everything, but this thing, this sweet and glorious thing, really deserved celebrating.