God has set some clear guidelines for us when it comes to intimacy in marriage. Who knew? 😉 I’m constantly in awe of all the verses I find that encourage me in my role as a wife and friend to my husband.
I especially love how these verses make it known that both the husband’s and wife’s needs/desires are equally important.
That is such a different view than what the world tells us about sexuality, isn’t it?
I often hear that men want and need sex more, or that it’s more for them and us women just put up with it… or fake a headache.
The world makes us believe that if a woman want sex more than the man does, that woman is trashy.
As a young bride I had a woman I looked up to tell me that she never experienced an orgasm from her husband. She didn’t even enjoy intimacy with him on any level. It was very matter of fact, and she said she had to do the job herself if she wanted to be pleased too.
Another woman talking with us said orgasms were rare for her too, and also shared her disgust with sex.
I spent quite a few years thinking there was something wrong with me for desiring sex, often times more than my husband did.
I also assumed that female orgasms were some made up fantasy found only in porn movies and never gave myself completely to my husband in the bedroom.
They were wrong, I was wrong.
Later in our marriage we began to unpack our baggage and sort through our sexual differences. Even though I entered our relationship as a young inexperienced virgin, I had mental and emotional insecurities as baggage. I had narrow minded views, that I felt very strongly about.
My husband had baggage of his own.
When you put our stories together there was some work to do.
Of course things would’ve been much easier if we would’ve been open with each other from the start and sought out Godly instruction.
I often say I’m glad for my struggle so I could find my strength, and that’s true here too.
My advice is pray through your “baggage”. Say it out loud so satan has no hold on it. Be honest with your spouse. Seek out help when you begin to feel like you’re in over your head.