My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:
Everyone should be quick to listen,
slow to speak and slow to become angry
Mr. Awesome had to endure some of my cranky not-so-awesomeness yesterday. In hindsight I was way to quick to speak, and I really didn’t give two craps if I was listening to anything he had to say- because after he ticked me off, I had already made up my mind that it was my way or the highway. I’ll spare you the details and just sum up our yesterday afternoon in one word, “unpleasant”.
Thankfully once I got some food in me my mood leveled out and I was able to think a little clearer. I felt like real poo for not practicing what I preach! So here are some phrases I SHOULD HAVE used, and I suggest you to use these if you find yourself in a “fight”, “bickering”, or just having some “intense fellowshipping” as us Christians sometimes like to call it. 😉 We learned some of these at the amazing Weekend to Remember Conference we attended in Minneapolis a few years ago. If you eeeeevvveerrr get the chance to go to one of their conferences, take it! The weekend away is wonderful, but the content they provide to you is even better!
First thing to remember is this: WE ARE ON THE SAME TEAM. Repeat that in your head or out loud as many times as you need to, so you don’t soon forget it. I cannot emphasize this one enough. This doesn’t just apply in marriage but in all area’s of life. I’ve used this line with another mom and I think it made us both change our perspectives and get over ourselves for the sake of our children.
I am NOT throwing in the towel on us, how can we compromise on this so neither one of us feels put out?
I am too upset right now, but this is important to me. Can I take some time to cool off and we talk about this tomorrow at 3 o’clock? -set a specific time and stick to it.
Let’s take turns sharing our sides.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Can you clarify?- Sometimes there is just a misunderstanding and asking your partner to clarify can bring much peace.
Tell me more about why you feel that way.
Remember to speak with encouragement. The goal here is not to win. The goal is to understand each other and work together to build harmony.
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