My heart is so very full of gratitude.
Back story: As many of you already know, less than a year ago I was incredibly sick. For months I went to bed not knowing if I’d live another day. The pain was excruciating both mentally and physically.
The trauma our family endured from that awful season made us stronger, and brought us all closer to God, for which I’m grateful.
Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.
On occasion, my thoughts linger on what that season felt like. Sometimes I catch myself feeling fear of being in that place again, and the tears fill my eyes all on their own. Painful doesn’t begin to describe it.
Every single dollar we made went into paying for doctors, supplements, and tests that insurance wouldn’t cover.
Our family graciously helped us through. A friend counseled me through the darkest days and helped turn my heart back towards gratefulness. Thank you, Juanita.
On the good days when I could get around I photographed and sold the most random things around our house to pay for more tests (from the bottom of my heart, thank you, friends). By the power of God I am healthy and alive and our finances have recovered (as much as they can for a family of six, and that’s perfectly okay- ha!).
While I still have some tough days health-wise, I call everyday a good day!
Today was a VERY GOOD day. We got to take our oldest son to pick out a brand new guitar from a music shop. We split the cost as we often do when the kids want a big ticket item. He’s been wanting an eclectic, and we found an acoustic-electric that rocked his world.
There was a time in the midst of the worst of my ordeal that I didn’t know if we would be able to buy our kids fun things again, or only necessities. All of our resources were so tied up in keeping me alive. It’s a very humbling thing when people pool together and rally around you out of love.
Today I took video after video of our boy testing out his new guitar and tons of pictures (he’s a great sport) because I never ever want to forget this milestone and the gratitude I felt in my heart that God let me be here for this moment.
Some may call this ordinary, but not me. To me, this is extraordinary.
Friends, on the darkest days and through the toughest trials, just.hang.on. Things get better.
Please, keep pressing forward. Seek answers, reach out, and don’t give up hope.