I work so hard to be a great mom; especially as a homeschool mom. I spend hours researching curriculum, getting to know my children, their learning styles, their interests and so on.
We are home all day together; we spend the most time together. We sit and read books together, we go on mini-trips together, we grocery shop together, we do it all, together.
Like most husbands, mine works full time. He’s working so hard to provide for our family. Sometimes I get upset about him not taking more time off to go on field trips with us, or to do the “fun stuff”. I feel like his days off or only when there is something we HAVE to do, not just for recreation.
I never realized how much of a struggle the balance was for him, until he sent me a text this week to let me know he was sorry he missed out on a photo-shoot that the kids and I did last week. As I read his explanation and apology, my heart sank. I had unintentionally guilt-tripped him over missing out on some of our big events lately.
I know he’s been busy with work, church activities, and hardly has any time left over for being the type of husband he ideally wants to be.
After a day of teaching the kids I kind of ‘clock out’ at home and get busy working. I have been stepping out of my comfort zone and trying new things that have left me gone a lot, on conference calls, or glued to my computer.
On paper I’d say my roles are like this: Child of God, Wife, Mother, friend, and Everything Else.
According to my actions and how I’ve prioritized my roles look like this: Mom, Blogger, Child of God, Community Member/Advocate, THEN WIFE, then everything else.
This sounds weird, but our kids suffer when we put them first. They really do. It’s hard to explain, but they need the stability of their parents being a united front and making each other a priority.
Mr. Awesome and I are both in a busy season where it is difficult to make each other a priority, but it is NOT impossible.
GOAL: We just need to take advantage of the little moments that we do have together and be extra intentional with them. 30 minutes is all it takes to catch up with a friend, so I need to give my husband 30 minutes of my undivided attention to get caught up and connected.
Beth Ann Chiles says
Sometimes the ones we love the most get the least of us and we have to step back and take another look at how we are dividing up our time and attention. Good for you for realizing you need to readjust a bit. It is always a delicate balance.
A Slightly Better Wife says
You’re so right! Why is that I wonder? I feel like my family is always getting the short end of the stick. I’m being much more intentional right now and I am already starting to see a difference at home!
I am totally guilty of doing this too! I love how you broke down your roles on paper vs. reality, because I can see myself in them. I know that I am guilty of being mom/teacher/housecleaner for most of the day, and when my husband comes home, he’d love a wife, and my mentality is “I’d love a break!” but who says that can’t happen with him instead of me running upstairs to have a moment’s peace?
You always provide good food for thought, Quincey.