Parents of Children with Snapchat:
Do you monitor your children’s feed? Because I do. Every.single.night. I mean, you have to, snap stories disappear after 24 hrs, and private messages are gone even quicker than that. Frankly, I’m shocked by what I’ve seen. My {almost} 15 year old and I watch the stories together and spend a minute talking about what we saw. You know what? It’s annoying.
It’s one more thing on my already full plate, and I could easily brush it off. But I don’t. I don’t let it slide, because I care about the emotional well-being of my child, and I know that can be so easily influenced by what she sees online.
Are you familiar with emotional intelligence? If not, do some reading. It matters.
The crap (and I do mean that) that kids are posting on their feeds (stories) is mostly age appropriate, but some of it is just cruel.
I can get past reading cuss words, because, well, I cuss too. I will say though, I do think it’s a tad ridiculous reading the 4 letter “c” word on a 14 year old’s snap (and I’m not talking about ‘crap’).
What I can’t get past though is this the videos of kids bullying other kids. Nope- Deal breaker. That is NOT what social media is for. If my gut says contact the parents, I do. Usually, they don’t even care. What the heck!?
Come on, team parents! We’re in this together, please show SOME concern, would ya?
Don’t get me wrong, I snap too. Mostly because my oldest daughter is snapping, but also because I enjoy the platform. When used appropriately it can be quite fun!
There is such thing as being addicted to social media too, but that will have to be a post for another day, or something for you to look into if you think your child is having issues here.
Alright, the biggest concern of mine today, and the reason for this post is the 3rd party app that kids are using so their “friends”/contacts can send anonymous messages to them. It goes like this: They post a picture of themselves, or a wall, or whatever is in front of them and put a text overlay that says “Swipe up to lmk (let me know) what U really think about me”.
It opens a web-site that their friends can use to type whatever they want into a little text box and hit send.
Anonymously. Good or bad… There it goes! No taking it back, no signing your name on it, it’s off and into the hands of the person who asked for the input.
Often times the kids will screenshot and share these messages on their stories and comment on them.
If the message says “TBH (which means ‘to be honest’) UR really pretty”, they might say “aww, TY (thank you)!”
But sometimes, it’s awful… I mean AWFUL. The things these girls, and boys, post to each other is just heart breaking.
I can’t even, folks.
I can’t even go there.
Twice I have seen my daughter’s friends post something like this “you guys make me suicidal”.
Breaks.my.heart.
As if teen girls don’t have enough reason to question themselves, they are going out looking for other people’s opinions, and taking them to heart!
No. No. No. Please, talk with your children. The approval of the online community is NOT where they need to find their worth.
Now this week, I see the boys on my daughter’s friends list are doing it too. Teen boys may appear tough on the outside, but I would guess they have the same wavering self-confidence that the girls do.
Parents, it’s your job to guard your children’s hearts, and their Snapchat (or other social media) accounts.
Please, take it seriously.
I had my own issues with social media as a teenager, and 14 years ago it wasn’t nearly the world we live in today. To put it bluntly and save you time- I met a guy while using a web-site to find out if I was hot, because my parents telling me I was beautiful wasn’t enough. I needed an unbiased opinion. This guy and I texted constantly. We met. He appeared perfect and said all the right things. He was the ideal guy, until he nearly raped me in my own home. Then he dated a friend of mine immediately after me. I warned her, she didn’t listen. Damn him. Damn her. And thank God for protective moms everywhere (especially mine).
You know what? The pain didn’t end that night. Life has never been the same since. What he did, even though he was not successful in his attempt, made me struggle like crazy with intimacy later on, even within my perfectly safe and healthy marriage. If only I could’ve known then what I do now.
If only I had been safer online.
So here I am, the mother of a teenager, and when I see these snap stories that are using a 3rd party app to get anonymous messages, so they can know what their friends “really think of them”, my heart breaks.
Parents, be sure your children know WHOSE they are (a child of God), and that they are LOVED.
Don’t just say it in passing- ingrain it into them. Your sons and daughters alike, they both need it.
Build their confidence. Teach them well. Educate them in being smart online, and off.
Then start some open conversation about how they are using their apps, or how their friends are.
Don’t lead them, I repeat, do not lead them in their answers. Don’t assume they feel how you feel. Ask them, and wait. It may take a minute for them to process how they feel about something they see. Be patient. Be fully present. Be their parent.
Simple conversation starters:
*What did you think of that? <- yes it’s really that easy.
*Is that how (friend) acts in person too, or do you think he/she is showing a different side online?
*Why do you think they shared that on their story?
Keep it light-hearted, but do not be afraid to go deep if they are wanting to.
Pray with, and for, your children.
This is not a one time conversation. This is is not a drill.
This is your job, do it well.
PS. Also, hopefully this is old news, but if not, check to see if your child is sharing their location with their friends (or worse, the public). That stuff is just creepy. It’s using Google Maps, and it’s exposing your home address, your child’s school, church, etc. You can set it so you can only see their location, if you are using it for tracking.
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