You Think I’m Strong-Willed? Whatever THAT Means!

So you know that class on being a strong-willed wife that I (a little sheepishly) admitted to signing up for?
Well, guess what, it was GOOD. Really good.

My friend and I snagged front-row seats for the workshop. She’s fun-sized (adorable, but not tall), and I like to tease her about not being able to see over people’s heads. The truth is, even at 5’9”, I sometimes struggle in a crowded room too. So, God gave us both the best seats in the house — and He placed us there because we needed it. He knew it, even before we did.

Isn’t she cute?  She also LOVES Sally.  Someday I’d love to see the two of them preform a skit at Hearts at Home together!  They’re both hilarious and have big heart for sharing Jesus.

Discovering I’m Strong-Willed

I had a pretty good idea that I was strong-willed, but the workshop confirmed it. We started with a quiz, and I scored 33 out of 40. If I’d answered with complete transparency, I probably would’ve scored even higher.

Until that day, I didn’t really see my strong-willed personality as a problem. But as Dr. Debbie Cherry (our speaker) explained how others may view these traits, my eyes were opened.

Busting the Myths

There are so many myths about what it means to be strong-willed. For years, I believed them:

• That it makes you “a bad girl.”

• That it automatically means you’re bossy, difficult, or “too much.”

Here’s the truth: being strong-willed is a gift. The problem only comes when we misuse it. When we push too hard, we can come across as harsh (or even a little witchy). That’s not who we truly are though.

Strong-willed women are passionate. We love Jesus. We admire the Proverbs 31 woman, and instead of feeling threatened by her, we find inspiration. While some see her as an impossible standard, I’ve always found her to be encouraging.

The Beauty of Strong-Willed Traits

Being strong-willed comes with incredible strengths:

• Motivated

• Passionate

• Energetic

• Charismatic

• Confident

• Independent

• Born leaders with BIG dreams

Those are not bad things! They’re powerful qualities that God can use for His glory.

Of course, those strengths can show up in funny ways, too. For example, I’ve been known to rearrange food lines at a party to make them flow better, or move tables in restaurants so conversations feel easier. My family has rolled their eyes more than once, I thought they were just teasing me, but maybe they were a little embarrassed too.

Here’s the flip side: I’m also strong-willed in my passion for marriage, family, and encouraging women. I will set aside my own comfort if it means someone else can feel seen, loved, and supported. I love deeply and passionately, I just don’t always do it quietly.

And that realization? It was freeing. I’m not broken.

What’s Next

The next step for me is learning how to steward this gift of being strong-willed, to use it for building up instead of bulldozing through. To lean on the Holy Spirit for guidance.

There are so many beautiful aspects of being strong-willed that I want to keep uncovering.

Remember this: if you’ve been told you’re “too much,” maybe it’s because God created you to be just enough for the mission He’s placed in front of you.