Growing Again

​If you’ve noticed the posts have been a little sporadic around here, it’s because I’ve spent the past 7 months growing a new little blessing inside of me, and really folks, it has been down right exhausting at times.

As much as I want to focus only on the good, and not complain, I’ve got to tell you, this pregnancy has physically been the toughest of them all.

I bet some of you moms with multiple children have maybe had pregnancies like this too.  After my first pregnancy I thought I could carry a hundred babies, because I rocked pregnancy (child birth- not so much, but in my defense I was a total newbie).  The next time around I was a little older and things were a little tougher, but still pretty great (and I rocked child birth that time).

I want to be honest, as I always strive to be here.

The first trimester with this little one was emotionally draining, as I fought hard to keep this sweet babe in the womb.

I first felt resentful of the pain, the added sleepiness, the worrying, the required resting, the extra ultrasounds and blood work, etc. We both agreed we wanted more children, but this pregnancy was primarily Mr. Awesome’s idea.  My heart was set on adoption (which is still an option).  No matter how our children come to us, they are a blessing.  I know this, I believe this, but not being fully in control and getting my way is sometimes a little hard to swallow.
Then I put on my big girl panties and I did what I would tell anyone else to do…. I looked on the brighter side. 

Yep, that’s all I needed to do.

Choose JOY, right?

This pregnancy is forcing me to rest.  Like really rest.  Resting isn’t something I do well on my own.  I have a tendency to push myself to take care of everyone else, and I don’t even realize the damage I’m doing to myself until it’s absolutely vital that I take a break.

I enjoy serving others, but I don’t always have good discretion about when to say “no” and just rest.  I don’t see the work load piling up or feel the stress until it has become too much.  It’s a blessing and a curse, really.

So in that respect this pregnancy has helped me to slow down, and to spend more time with Jesus.  Because being exhausted and sitting on the couch for hours a day on its own is terribly boring, and truthfully a little depressing.

So I’ve filled my time with more praying, reading the word, writing out my dreams, and listening to encouraging podcasts.  The kids have gathered around and snuggled more, even the teenager.  No one has said how much it stinks when mom isn’t performing at 100%, they’ve just been gracious and helpful instead.

This rest has been good for my soul, even if it has been tough on my ego to rely more on others.

As a homeschool mom it is nearly impossible to take any time off, but we’ve found our new normal for now and a groove that really works for us.

The funny thing is we are doing more subjects and spending more time mastering what we’re learning, as I haven’t had the energy to keep pressing forward at the rate we were.  Or the ambition to take on every new opportunity that comes my way. You’d think that it would’ve slowed us down, but ME slowing down is what we really needed.

Praise God that he always knows best, even when we don’t.

This third trimester is now zooming by and before I know it we’ll be holding our little one and looking for our next new normal as we transition into life with a newborn again.

I’m confident that God will direct our path and we will adjust well, as long as I continue to listen to Him, and not myself.

Oh you guys, I am so extremely grateful that God picked Mr. Awesome and I to parent all these kiddos together.

Life is never dull in our home, and our hearts are always full.

I’m looking forward to sharing this journey with you all through my little blog.

Just for fun, we chose to be surprised this time around, and opted to not find out the sex of this baby at our last ultrasound. Okay, really *I* wanted to be surprised and Mr. Awesome has been kind enough to go along with it, even though he really did want to know.  Marriage is full of sacrifices, and this is one I’m glad he was willing to make for me.

I do have some really fun pictures from our last gender reveal party though (4.5 years ago), and I’d love to share those here sometime!

 

Don’t you see that children are God’s best gift?
   the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior’s fistful of arrows
   are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
   with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don’t stand a chance against you;
   you’ll sweep them right off your doorstep.
Psalm 127:3-5 MSG