I put in my first official workout of the year yesterday! It was a short workout on the WiiFit board as my four children cheered me on. Ha! I bet you didn’t even know that some people still use a Wii, did you?
Look, I’m not saying losing weight is a goal, but when each of our babies turns about two I tend to “find myself” again and my body naturally becomes stronger and more fit. You guys, my baby turns TWO this April. 109 days from today!
I often feel guilty for “letting myself go” (for lack of a better term) during their earliest years, but to be perfectly honest, I struggle so hard with caring for myself while having an itty bitty baby in the house. Especially with this baby toddler that still doesn’t sleep through the night on his own.
I have a hard time giving myself a break, so in an effort to prove I’m “good enough” and can handle it all, I usually take on way more than I should each time we add another little one to our tribe. I say “YES” to everything, so no one gets the impression that I’m overwhelmed or can’t hack it (a poor self-destructive habit I picked up during my step-mom days, before I really knew the Lord intimately, and understood the true secrets to a good life). Then I power through and do, in fact, do it all (all but take care of myself). Maybe to prove to myself that I can? Because I’m sure no one else is really watching me that close. I don’t know, whatever the case it isn’t healthy and I know this.
My baby is still nursing, which in conjunction with my PCOS, wreaks havoc on my blood sugar and my body. He’s weaned drastically and the end is in sight. Praise! I’ve prayed over this and I’m ready to be done, for the sake of my hormones.
I was thinking last week, why wait until April to put make a self-care goal? It’s not like he’ll magically wake up (or go to sleep) and become more independent. It’s not like my t0-do list gets shorter and I get more hours in the day.
I have to work in “me time” on my own, right here and now, even if that time is being spent with everyone else around me. I look at it as a way to be a good example to my children. More reading. More drinking water. More exercising. More praying. More learning. More chasing my passions.
Growing up with Erbs Palsy, working out in gym class was literally the worst part of my life. I felt like I was a freak, in part because I was called that constantly by a few classmates and didn’t know not to believe them. Oh, how I wish I knew then what I know now. I loved jogging on the treadmill at home and doing crunches in my ab roller, but working out in front of people has always been difficult for me.
I was reminded yesterday that I actually love the way I feel after a good workout. It’s worth making time for!
Another thing I have gotten out of the habit of is journaling in my gratitude journal. Writing out my thanksgiving to the Lord is so instrumental in shaping my heart to be more thankful, more compassionate, and more present.
If I were to have a set new years resolution, it would be something like this “move more + write more”. More praise, and more positivity, more forward movement!
What are you working on for YOU, right now?
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