Godly Sex? For Real? Yes!

God has given us clear guidelines for intimacy in marriage. Who knew? 😉 I continue to be amazed at how many verses encourage me in my role as a wife and friend to my husband.

One thing I love is how Scripture makes it clear that the husband’s and wife’s needs and desires matter equally. That’s such a different message than what the world tells us about sexuality.

Too often, I hear people say that intimacy is mostly for men, while women just “put up with it,” fake a headache, or treat it like a chore. And if a woman desires intimacy more than her husband? The world labels her as “trashy.”

As a young bride, I had women I looked up to tell me things like:

• They never enjoyed intimacy with their husbands.

• Orgasms were rare or nonexistent.

• Sex was unpleasant and something to be endured.

Hearing those words planted seeds of doubt in me. For years, I wondered if something was wrong with me because I actually desired intimacy, often more than my husband did. I even began to believe that female pleasure was a myth, something found only in movies, but not in real marriages. Because of that, I held myself back from giving my whole self to my husband.

But here’s the truth: they were wrong, and I was wrong.

Later in our marriage, my husband and I began unpacking our baggage and sorting through our differences. Even though I entered our relationship as a young, inexperienced virgin, I still carried mental and emotional insecurities that became baggage. He had baggage of his own. Together, we had work to do.

Would it have been easier if we had been open from the start and sought Godly counsel early on? Absolutely. But I’m also grateful for the struggles, because in them we found strength, healing, and a deeper intimacy.

If you’re struggling in this area of marriage, let me encourage you:

• Pray through your baggage. Say it out loud so the enemy has no hold on it.

• Be honest with your spouse. Vulnerability brings connection.

• Seek Godly wisdom and help. Don’t wait until you feel overwhelmed — ask for support.

Intimacy in marriage is a gift from God, meant to be enjoyed by both husband and wife. When we align with His design, we find freedom, healing, and joy that the world could never promise us.