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Dear Debbie

DisclosureButthole Wife

I just read thee very best blog post!  I shared it on my Facebook Page, but I wanted to share a link to it here too.  It’s written by Debbie Wilkins Baisden, and titled Stop Being a Butthole Wife.  Her words and perspective really hit home.

Dear Debbie, 

Thank you for telling it like it is.

Love, 

Quincey B.

Go give her post a read, and them come back and read my thoughts below:

A few years ago I personally found myself complaining constantly about my husband leaving laundry by the bed, and not 5 feet away in the hamper.  Then I decided after all my nagging that if he wasn’t going to change, I WAS!  I spent a week not doing his laundry, and silently being embarrassed by the “funny” (inappropriate) t-shirts he’d wear after work to lounge in.  In all honesty, my dad had given him most of those shirts, and once upon a time I had thought they were funny too.

Then I read a blog post similar to this one I shared, but the wife writing it had lost her husband and missed the sound of him snoring after a long day of working hard.  She wished she could go back in time and not nag about his snoring, or resort to the couch each time it had bothered her.

From then on I did my husband’s laundry without complaining.  I used to tease him because he had never done a load of laundry in his life (honestly), but then I realized what an honor it was to serve him and how blessed I was to be the one to wash his clothes.

Each time I hang his dress shirts, I pray for the stability of his job, or his focus at work, or whatever concerns he’s brought to me.  When I fold his dirt-stained blue jeans I pray for the garden he manages, and the bounty he brings in for our family.  I have started doing this with our kids’ laundry too.

A simple perspective shift is sometimes all we need to stop being a butthole wife.

I need to now work on this with the dishes.  Dishes (especially pans that my husband has scorched food in) are not my favorite, and everyone in this house (and maybe even all the way down the block) knows it.

How can you work on not being a butthole wife?

 

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Hey Friend! I am truly so glad that you’re here today!

At A Slightly Better Wife, I share about faith, homemaking, homeschooling, and marriage—along with my passion for creating a non-toxic, intentional home. Life isn’t about perfection, but I believe in making small, meaningful choices each day to do things slightly better than before.

My love for simple living and homemaking was deeply shaped by my grandparents. I have the best childhood memories of being in the kitchen with my Grandma Edna, learning the beauty of home-cooked meals and a well-tended home. My Grandpa Link’s storytelling and wisdom instilled in me the value of faith, family, and slowing down to listen during the little moments that make life rich. Their influence is woven into who I am today and I’m so grateful for that.

I’m a wife, a momma of 5, and a homemaker at heart. My husband and I met young, just days after my 18th birthday, and we quickly (like within a week) knew that forever was in our plans.

Together, we built our home on the edge of town, where we’re raising and homeschooling our children while embracing a simple, purposeful life in the city.

Here, you’ll find encouragement for your marriage, practical tips for homemaking, and inspiration to cultivate a home filled with faith and love. Whether you’re looking for a recipe, a fresh perspective, or just a place to feel understood, I hope you’ll stay awhile and explore.

Let’s pursue slightly better together!

📩 Interested in working together? Email me at aslightlybetterwife@gmail.com

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